hais

well , came to bloggie again .
ya , why uhh ? hmmm , cause me and maiko was bored . and wanted to blog .
so from rooftop , we came down to blog . as we were talking our xin shi up there :D
hmmm , well , before that , was helping cheeho to celebrate his birthday . hahahas !
hope he did enjoy his day today uhh :D hmmm , as we also did enjoy lahs . the candles we put .
laughs ! blow le still got fire . hahahas ! well , its the 3rd time i think that i celebrate for friends birthday . seldom celebrate with friends . even if its my own birthday , i also dont really wanna celebrate . what for ? cause i think being alone is better ? or maybe its pointless to celebrate birthday ? well , it dont bother me much too . but this year birthday , hope that i got my martell .
and i make sure i wanna drink till i toh . laughs ! cause if i never toh , i will feel very xin ku x.x
never mind , shall see how . as my dear ng yaya say she will help me celebrate x.x so see how bahs . hahahahas ! i also dont know wanna blog what . hais . but there is always some stuff that i cant say out . i dont dare to say out too . why dont i have the guts to say out ? hais .
cause i'm too timid ? maybe bahs , maybe i'm afraid to know the truth ? to hear it . so be it bahs , i just wanna say all my stuff out . but i just cant , hais , felt so xin ku can ? even thought i might be acting very happily . but , actually i'm not . i'm feeling damn shagg , damn hurt , seeing you all the times make me feel so hurt . i really wish that ... hais , forget it , maybe time will do the stuff bahs . i just dont know . whenever you disiao me , i wont dulan you . cause why ? cause its simple . 4;5683;968 . hais . i just dont wish to say out . so put in another language bahs . sometimes really wish to just sms you . or wait for your sms . but i know nothing will come as i wish . so forget it . why now i will suddenly wanna post it out ? cause i ren bu zu le . i really gonna say it out . whether you got read or not . i still will post it . cause i might feel better . as i really felt damn terrible . ahhhhh , i somehow really feel like crying out loud , cry it all out . but i cant , i cant bear to let my tears drop . i cant bear to drop my tears in era . i rather go home and cry out loud . so that nobody will know . nobody will know what i'm thinking too , except maiko (: i can talk to her very freely , feel so comfortable when talking to her , cause i think her situation almost the same as mine . hais . i really want you back ! hais , but could i have the chance ? i doubt so ? hais . why do i love you so much ? why do i even cant give up on you ? why must you make me love you ? i also dont know why ? lots of question in my mind , but there seems no answer to those questions of mine . cause love doesnt have any answer . as i think cause i love you for who you are , not cause i find that you cute or what , then i be with you . if i thinks that cause you are cute or what , then i be with you , then it means that its not love . hais , loving someone is easy , but giving up the one that you love is hard . dont you all agree ? why must love be so selfish ? why must love be such a torture ? why must either 1 party give in , so that the relationship will survive ? hais , i just damn lost , damn confuse , to me now , love is just a game . cause i'm really damn hurt now .
even my jie intro those guys to me , i'm also not interested , even thought they have cars , money , good looking , i still dont want any of them , but just you . hais , damn shagg ! everytime when i'm alone , i will start thinking of you . just only you in my mind . i really feel like crying le lahs ! hais , damn shagg now . i dont know lahs , i dont want post le . shagg die me bahs . maybe my life is fated to be single ? or to be a foolish girl to wait for guys ? who doesnt even treasure me at all .