You're still the best..

Hah, what a day. Fuck valentine day seriously. I really need you to talk to me.. No matter what, I still thinks that you are so much better than any of my other boyf or exs. Sigh.. If I could have give in a little, things would be much better right? Well, no point regretting things that are over.. At least I still have those memories & the video you make with me, & I'm contented.. I still do misses you at times. Anyway have a good valentine day ok? <3

Sigh

Hi, I'm back. Im not very very happy. Even though I should have fun now. But I guess im not.. Hah, a lot of things have cross my mind. & I really feel that do much things are bottling inside me..

I felt that, I've neglect my friends, & I don't know what to do now. Maybe, they will be happier without me. Got the feeling of meeting friends lesser & lesser. Just wanna work work & work all the way. Im better off being alone. Really. I bring so much disappointment to my friends. Who are really close to me.. & I really ain't happy it & myself. Sigh.. I really don't know what to do.

& for my love life, I really don't know what to do. The feeling is different. I felt as if, it's just a 依赖. Because I'm always being loved by my friends, sist & bro.. Maybe I just love the feeling of being loved. I don't know if this feeling is true not. I don't know it will lead me to where. But I hope, I won't hurt the other party. Because I rather I'm the one getting hurt.. I don't put my boyf as priority. Sigh. Except "him". & no one is able to replace the feeling that he have gave. I just don't know what to do now...

Oh god, please help me please. I need you to guild me, teach me the way & advise me on what to do. Sigh. What are you writing on my life story? Can you please let me know? So I can walk the way? Sigh..

Ok, I'm here to talk about my character. I mean like cause I quarrel with him. & he thinks that it's my wrong as I'm lazy. Well, who doesn't know that I'm plain lazy? Everyone knows that. So don't come & say that ask me to change or not be lazy towards you. Cause this is me. If you're gonna love me, you gonna accept that I'm like this. My sist & bro also know my character. So don't expect me to change for you when they didn't even ask me to do so.

I seriously don't know what's wrong with him nowadays eh. Just small little things I do, he just wanna argue. & he's been treating me coldly nowadays. From what I see in text la. We hardly Sms also already. Well I do wonder sometimes, how long can this relationship last. How happy are we? Hah. Let's see how it goes alright.

I really don't understand guys sometimes. What they are thinking & what they really wants. Because their mind & actions are both doing the different thing. I just don't get it really. I don't need my boyf to sweet talk that much. I don't need him to spend all his time on me. I don't need him to pamper me or what other girls demand. I just want a normal relationship. Who understands me. & who is willing to accept my flaws & still willing to be with me, stay by me when I'm upset. Like today, I got demote, he didn't say much. When I'm really unhappy, he did nothing much.. Sigh. Forget it really. I shall slowly take a step & see how it goes ba..

Fuck my life.

Kay, I'm back to posting because I'm so upset + angry over school thing. Today happy happy go school , end up I gonna stay back study year 1. Super upset about it. So went to appeal to office. Wednesday gonna talk to the section head. Afraid the answer he/she give will be a bad answer. Sigh. Cause I don't wanna stay in this course studying year 1 again..

&& I don't know what's wrong with you. Picking quarrel with me with little stuff. Even I'm lazy, you also wanna argue. Never mind. Whatever I done, ain't right at all. K fine.

& to you, I didn't reply you. Because I don't agree with the answer you told me for the 5 question. I do have feelings but so? I also can't love anyone else like I love you before. That's it ok? (:

Questions in my mind..

I'm still having a lot of doubts. A lot of questions. Because there are a lot of question mark in my mind. I know blog will be safe for almost all people now. Because they have thought that it's dead. Well, but I'm still keeping it alive. Hah. So I can throw my troubles out here. & I also know, "you" won't even come & view this blog anymore.. (:

So here's all my questions...

1) I wonder, if you have ever forgotten me? Or ever gave up on me? When I'm still waiting for you..

2) if your answer is no, then why are you in a relationship? Sigh. I know there's no point talking about all this. Because it already ended. But it's all the questions that I wanted to ask..

3) I don't know if I'm able to last with my current one. Because 1stly, I still ain't able to let go. Yet, I accepted him. Though I've feelings for him..

4) I'm a free girl, he's having probation. Will he get tired of me because I'm always running out. & doesn't have time for him. Cause I'm a outgoing girl instead of a inhouse girl..

5) I just wish to be alone again for the time being, but then I know it's impossible... Sighh...

Can anyone answer to this 5 questions? :')