maybe this is better ?

well , i'm back to post . hmm , i dont know if i did make the right decision or not . but still , now my main priority is to get a job first . not saying about any other things , be it r/s or what . so yeah , maybe this is the right decision for me eh ? haha !

sometimes , i might have make the wrong decision , sometimes , i might have go the wrong path . but i'll do it even just to see you more happier , better and good . i dont mind that i suffer . cause i'm always used to it [: so yeah , maybe if i really did hurt any people too much , then i'm sorry . even to people whom i've hurt alot or deeply . a real and sincere sorry from my heart . be it you will forgive me or not . i will still wanna say it out . i'm not seeking for forgiveness . but just to say as i feel that i've to . so yeah , sorry still .

alright , enough of all those . cause it makes my heart feel so *sour* . but yeah , am still strong to stand up though . every once you fall . it will make you grow stronger right ? [: so yeah , these few days , been out to chill . went to meet junkai and co at tamp , meet sotplug that silly laopo of mine . or either at home . lots of things happen these few days , i've lose a sister , and someone who dote me and care for me alot . well . maybe i've to learn to be independent now . after 19 years of dote , care , from people around me and family . maybe now its the time , i gonna stand up on my own feet . enough of those care , dote and pamper . cause i'm already 19 , and its time for me to get a job and stand on my own ! been thinking alot these few days , been wanting to cry these few days , holding my tears as i dont want myself to be so weak . i wanna prove to ngyaya , and everyone , that i'm someone special , who can be independent . who is not worthless . and dont want them to worried about me anymore . after 19 years of playing , i really do have enough . so start anew and change ! [:

maybe people who read my blog . might think that , " aiya , say nia luhs , you will do then say lo " but then , dont look down on me , at least give me some support luhs . so i know that , i'm not worthless after all . like how my family look down on me . i wanna get to night class o next year , after that , maybe study some useful courses . 1 year time , i wanna get things done by next year , so this year , i really do need to work ! haha . just applied some job in jobsdb.com . that's introduce by ngyaya . so yeah . gonna aim for my goal eh ? [:

and thanks to those people who are there for me when i'm feeling so down . [: ;luv you guys to the maxie ! people like : ngyaya , gary , sotplug , andrea , felicia , and lastly , the person whom i just know recently , junkai , thanks so much for the past few days eh ? [: for making me smile and accompany me . so yeah , that's all for today post . feel much better after posting out [: and i feel like smoking ! :x tsktsk .