gone

alright , the last post i shall post . on the blog ? but i wont reply tags . unless i think its necessary to . well . i guess i start my mia today ? i have talk to shawn about it already . and i tell him why i wanna do so . not because of what ken did today . not because this group fault . i just felt that i'm nothing to anyone . nor to the whole world ? i'm like . . still those young kids ? who havent grow up . playing like a small kids . which makes me think that i'm not like 18 , and not having a mature thinking ? i do not really wanna be like this . but maybe i might just make this group happy ? by doing stupid or retarded stuff . and all i want is this group to be happy . i did all ways to make them happy . do what they want me to do ? but what am i to them ? have they ever put themself in my shoe to think ? if i'm them , and they are me . i wanna go find trouble or what . how would i think ? of cause i will be worried . but do they felt the way i feel ? do they think the way i think ? ya , they may think girls are so naggy , irritating , or many others more . cause its their life . and they are guys . so they wont know what a girls think . so yeah , forget about talking it . so just a simple thing , i just wish to be alone for now . and ya . i finally talk to someone about it le . well . hope he will keep a secret out of it . and not saying out to the rest . cause i dont want them to know . it really hurts me to do this . how long can i bear not to see them ? i dont know . i really dont know . and i'm guilty . as ken say he mia , and not me . why must he be the one mia-ing ? maybe i do did wrong things in this group ? that make them change the mindset towards me . maybe because i did the thing that i found on era thingy ? it might be i pick up ? or a steal . but then at least i did return . i cant take that as steal what . and many other more that i did ? i do dare to say that my attitude changed . and so ? all of you all also did change , i just want it to be like last time . and ya , i know it wont come back . how i wish i could stop the time once more . and held back every single memories . and i wont do the thing i shouldnt do too . but then , will time even go back ? no . it wont go back anymore . so i guess . most likely . we will be drifting ? or what ? i dont even know . i just wanna think for a period of time from now . anything can sms me to tell me . but then i doubt i will reply . after tomorrow . my line cut off . and ya , so i doubt i can contact anyone too . cause i still cant find any job to pay the bills . it might also be better for me not to contact anyone . and to calm down , and think hard . what i want now . what i wish for now . what to do in my life . and many more . lots of things i wanted to do . and think . but i cant . because i know you guys are more important than the others . so now . give me the time . just take care bahs all (: sooner or later , i will meet up with you guys again . till i get better ? take care all . especially bestie . better take good care ehs (: and dont always be so bad temper lahs . sorry to all my sist too ehs .