its the end of everything

just talk things out with felicia and ford . and yeah , finally . everything its gonna put to an end . yeah , quarrel with them . and ya , dont feel that good . dont even have someone to talk to now . or someone to advise me now . all i can do now is to shagg or cry . i have enough already . who else care ? nahhs , no one man . in that group . its like whether i with them or not . its still the same . they can happily go enjoy and play . but what about me ? stop asking me to think of how you all feels alright ? how you all feels too ? can't you all just put yourself in my shoes ? after i mia , who ask me out ? even if got , how many times only ? i really think i've enough , i wanna clean break with you all . every single one of you . after talking things out . its really hurts me , the memories , the pictures . those post . its really make me feel like crying . somehow , i even feel like puting an end to my life . its like i've completely lose another part of my life . life is just like a game . i cant do anything . i can hold on to the happiness that i want . but then . sadness do keep come upon it . my heart is numb , my body is numb , every parts of me is numb , i cant really feel the pain anymore . and its like i've start to changed to be another person . people ask . where's the weiwei i knew ? where is the cheerful weiwei gone to ? well . i can say , its all gone . i've changed , so have you guys . you all made me to change to who i'm now . not me . i do really still care almost every single one of you all . especially felicia , drea , sotplug , vance , xab . but then , it seems like . i must learn to let go of it now . after talking to felicia and ford . i really totally break down , what's the point for me to voice things out when i know it isnt gonna happen or turn back to the way it was ? even if i did really voice it out . can it turn to the time when i just knew you all ? those laughter and joy ? no . the answer is no . it will still be the same . who else treat me important in the group ? none (: and that's what i see . so yeah , after new year eve celebration , i will make a clean break . and i will delete all contacts . and everything . i will start a new fresh , a new year . a new group of friends ? and a new job . a new me too . i will try hard to even give up everything . even if it really make me break down again to forget you guys . i still will try hard on it . cause i dont want to be so miserable again . i dont want to always be in sadness . i wanna stay happy too . like what you guys are doing now . so yeah , that's my final decision . take care everyone . last day we meet will be on thursday , new year eve (: make this day the last day , to enjoy . and a happy last memory for me . thanks .