Sigh

Hi, I'm back. Im not very very happy. Even though I should have fun now. But I guess im not.. Hah, a lot of things have cross my mind. & I really feel that do much things are bottling inside me..

I felt that, I've neglect my friends, & I don't know what to do now. Maybe, they will be happier without me. Got the feeling of meeting friends lesser & lesser. Just wanna work work & work all the way. Im better off being alone. Really. I bring so much disappointment to my friends. Who are really close to me.. & I really ain't happy it & myself. Sigh.. I really don't know what to do.

& for my love life, I really don't know what to do. The feeling is different. I felt as if, it's just a 依赖. Because I'm always being loved by my friends, sist & bro.. Maybe I just love the feeling of being loved. I don't know if this feeling is true not. I don't know it will lead me to where. But I hope, I won't hurt the other party. Because I rather I'm the one getting hurt.. I don't put my boyf as priority. Sigh. Except "him". & no one is able to replace the feeling that he have gave. I just don't know what to do now...

Oh god, please help me please. I need you to guild me, teach me the way & advise me on what to do. Sigh. What are you writing on my life story? Can you please let me know? So I can walk the way? Sigh..