x.x

currently now working at counter .
so came to blog awhile . hais .
was sleeping yesterday the whole night .
after van they all went back , went to vip room ,
and off to my lala land . i was so tired dao . . .
i sleep so damn fcuking early x.x LOLOL .
sleep dao 4 plus , then B didi disiao me . ==
then i woke up , and fall back to sleep again soon .
LOLOL . hahahas ! now still quite tired lorr .
tomorrow working night shift le . (: no more morning.
shoik le . cause morning need wakie so early D:
dont like it lahs . hahs , yesterday get my pay too .
hahas , 2 day , 100 le . not bad lahs (:
plus so relac , only top acc , clear rubbish . no more (:

sians , nothing much to post . hais . just feel like being alone.
in everything that i'm doing . independent (:
hahs , maybe soon , i will just do things alone le .
and go out alone ? eat alone , do everything alone (:
hais , i also dont know luhs . i just . . . . . . hais .
life is so boring , so tiring , so misery .
why is there saddness in life ? and not only happiness ?
why must love be selfish ? why must love hurt ?
why must we gonna go through so much stuff ?
why must we be adults ? and have more stress ?
alot of questions in my mind . but i dont know the answer .
why must i go through all this stuff ? hais , AHHH !
i really hate my life , some people can enjoy their life .
but why not me ? why am i at this kind of misery life ?
i just somehow hope there's someone who will be there for me. the one that i wish for ? hais , i dont know .
those close to me de . if they can , i will be glad .
but seems like none of them will be there for me .
they dont know how hurt i am , how shagg i am , and . .
how much i have gone through . hais , i have enough le , really .

i dont wanna talk so much , the more i talk . more shagg .
hais , i want a peace full life . a happy life . for me D:
hais , i just want what i want to come true . the rest . .
not i wanted de , just fcuk off lahs . D: hais .
when ever i listen to those shagg song , i will start to emo again . i really dont like it lahs can .
hais , can i just fcuk care everything . and just enjoy ?
no , i dont think i can . hais . maybe i should change .
to be more bad , maybe cause i too kind hearted le .
thats why , so i should just change . change to be worst bahs . since i too kind hearted , all step over my head .
hais , forget it . time will heal my wounds . i know .
but how long will it take ? 1 year , 2 year ? 10 year ?
i dont know . i just hope to perish in this world x.x
dont wish to post le . now hearing sha gua the song . and .
i feel more shagg , cause it has meaning too x.x hais .
fcuk it . fcuk everything == _l_

hais

back to blog . yeah , nothing much .
yesterday didnt wanted to go era de . dearest pls me to go down .
and then vanvan came bedok fetch me then go back era . so went there awhile .
wanted to stay there awhile . then go home before last bus .
but somethings crop up . then gonna ton , really shagg die me yesterday .
hais , things happen . not my problem . but its dearest de .
then it also concern B stuff too . then in the end . sua . so was so tired .
that i wanted to cab home with my last money . cause i didnt top on era .
then xab and xb want me ton , so i say they must cheer me up .
LOLOL ! , but they didnt lahs , thought xab got entertain abit . but then ,
i'm still quite shagg after all . i really didnt know what i gonna do .
or take the next step . to move on or to give up .
i just feel like , go die sua . end everything , so that i wont suffer so much .
or maybe if i give up . also wont have to suffer so much ? i just dont know .
what ever choice i made . i'm afraid i will regret . really . hais .
i already regret once , but i dont wanna regret twice .
lots of people tell me to flirt nia . dont care . but then i know i cant .
once i'm tx , i will be one . hais . even thought i may be close to guys , but then .
i know my limits . so i just close for awhile . then i will move off . hais .
i really feel like going mad soon . everyday like this . i sure will .
why cant i just love a person properly ?
why must love be so selfish ?
why must there be love in this world ?
why must there be saddness ? lots of question in my mind . but is there any answer to it ?
hais , how i wish i can be like god . to know everything or see everything .
i dont have to courage to show how much i love him , all i can is hide it .
i dont have the guts to talk to him much , cause i'm afraid that he will get pissed .
you all might think that i'm childish . ya . so ? arent you guys one too ?
if you all wanna say me de . say infront of me . just dont hide behind and say lahs .
still need people to come and tell me ? and then still have to ask him over and ask what he say ?
dont think i wont know anything . if i'm childish , what about you . ownself go and think .
i know when its the time to play and when its not . dont tell me you never play before ?
wtf sial . and i really hate it . zzz , when people say things behind my back . OMG lahs .
i still gonna tolorate all this nonsence . fcuk it alright .
i mia era , you all have fun at era . continue all those laughters lahs . wtf .
not happy with this post de . come find me lorr . ahhh , how i hope i can really die sua .
i shall not post much le . i really just .... hais . those wanna meet me de . meet me at other place .
i will not wanna go down era . cause fcuk era ! i mean this . hais . unless van they all at there .
then i will go . if not , i wont de . sat i will be going . but then he wont be there . so its okay .
hais . i just hope time will prove everything . hais . and hope that the wish i want will come true .
i dont wish to talk le . sorry all that i wont go era . hmmm . takecare (:

will you even give me the chance ?
will you even care ?
will you even miss me if i'm gone ?
i dont think you will . cause i'm nothing to you .
i maybe stupid to love you .
but i still wanna loveyou with all my heart .
i dont know why are you so changed .
i just really miss the old you .
i will just wait . till i cant take it .
i will give up le . hais ! 3742 , 4, 9455 , 9248 .